Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Memories (tears) for/of Friends

Hello everyone! Today was a hard day. When we began our trip from our second site visit back to the provencial house, I began thinking about Brent (RIP). I wanted to really connect with him again but in a car with 12 people it is hard to do. I began reading The Shack by William P. Young (the book I read right after Brent passed). It made me think of how much I really miss him and others that I have lost but also that God wanted them all in heaven with him. Brent will forever be missed down here on this earth but I seriously can't wait to see him again. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about him. When I got to our provencial house I learned that a girl I went to middle school with also passed, She commited suicide. I have been checking up on Rance (may God please let him pull through). Rance went into a coma three months ago and has yet to wake up. I played volleyball with him in St. Augustine and his amazing wife, Barb! My prayers are always with them. I also learned about a 24 y/o from South Florida who passed away on the 5th of Sept from a drive by shooting in a South African town. He was with his fiance and a few other people. God Bless his family as well and keep them in your prayers.
Life is rolling bye so fast in the states so I am a little thankful for time being so slow in Zambia.
It is hard not to cry when you think of people passing, especially when they are close to your hearts. I still have not figured out what I want to do for Brent on Dec 2oth this year... I wish Zambia had an ocean, or even just a lake near my place so I could go in the water to be with him. I will think of something though. I have pictures of him so... Angyalfy family, I love you all and miss you all. Brent was very dear to all of us.
I think it is easier for a girl to show her emotions because a guy or girlfriend will quickly come to their aid.... For a guy it is much harder. I know that when it comes to lost family/friends everyone will understand but it has been a long time since I showed any emotions (crying in particular). The last few times I have, have been when Wally passed and when Brent passed. But the more I think of them the more I want to let it all go. The book I mentioned above, The Shack, seriously had me in tears more than a few times while riding in the truck... No one in there even noticed though (thankfully).
I wish there was some way that I could reconnect with them (Brent, Wally, Michelle, Allen, JR, Ashley) in a physical sense. Or even in the same way Mack does in the book when he meets God. If only the connection to the other side were so simple. They will always be in my prayers though and I know they are always looking down on me. The goosebumps I just got are evidence that they are close at all times, even if we don't see them, or even when we don't know they are on our minds. What I would do to hug any one of them.
I will keep praying for all of them and all of you out there. I love you all and can't wait to see you all when I come home.
Shawn, keep the PaddleOut going until I get back!

1 comment:

  1. I missed this post until today. Let your tears fall. I think it's awesome for guys to show their emotions. I appreciate your writing these thoughts, and appreciate your friendship. We will see them again in glory, God's promise.